A complete collection of first professional degree humor

What do law school students who get As become after graduation?
Law school professors.
What do law school students who get Bs become after graduation?
Judges.
What do law school students who get Cs become after graduation?
Rich.

What do you call someone who graduates last in his med school class?
Doctor.

Another government service

Last week I saw a Maryland flag flying at half-staff on my drive home and thought "someone should really have a web page that explains why the flag is at half-staff at any given time."

Turns out the state Secretary of State has just such a web page:
http://www.sos.state.md.us/Services/Halfstaff.htm

I can't find a similar site for the US flag, except for one private company that charges $10 for the information.

Actual words forthcoming

http://www.upi.com/Top_News/2009/04/09/Lawmaker-defends-Asian-name-comment/UPI-78811239308901/

http://www.angryasianman.com/2009/04/betty-brown-apologizes.html

Free maps!

I just learned that most states' departments of transportation will send out free paper maps on demand.

Maryland: http://www.sha.state.md.us/SHAServices/mapsBrochures/maps/freemaps.asp
Virginia: http://www.virginiadot.org/travel/maporder.asp
Pennsylvania: http://www.dot.state.pa.us/Internet/Bureaus/pdBOS.nsf/OfficeServicesHomePage?OpenFrameSet&Frame=main&src=infoCustServForm?OpenForm
DC: No paper maps, but plenty of stuff online at http://ddot.dc.gov/ddot/cwp/view,a,1250,q,559674,ddotNav_GID,1586,ddotNav,|32399|.asp

Extra bonus points to the District of Columbia Department of Transportation for its logo:

HDTVs are great

Code on the extended desktop, Villanova-UNC on TV, picture-and-picture. Most excellent.

Just having a 46" 1920x1080 monitor isn't bad by itself, either.

This occurred to me when I saw a Jeep earlier

If I ever become a successful supervillain, my fake name will be The Rubicon. Can you imagine the Heroes' Association meetings?

Generic mid-level hero 1: Hey, man. Nice takedown at that First Area Bank heist on Wednesday.
Generic mid-level hero 2: Thanks! Hey, didja hear about The Obfuscated Octogenarian? He went after one of The Rubicon's weapons factories. They say Rube's pretty pissed.
Generic mid-level hero 1: He crossed The Rubicon? Oh, man. He ain't ever comin' back.

EDIT: This reminded me of the Evil Overlord List from back in the day when the Internet was still new and geeky. Turns out it's still around, go have a look. Clearly, the best one is rule 221 (check cellblock B). Number 66 is good too.

Useless trends I've noticed at work

Part of visiting the doctor is getting weighed. It's the part that people like to complain about the most. Out of the people who complain, everyone wants to know how many pounds we subtract for clothes. And there's a lot of "I need to take off my shoes, they weigh [n]."

Mean n: 4#
Median n: 2#
Smallest n: ounces
Largest n: 20#

Also, a lot of people don't understand blood pressure and pulse. Which is understandable. But they ask about it in a weird way: "I have no idea what those numbers mean. Good, bad, or indifferent?" I'd never heard anyone use that expression before I started my current job. Is it from somewhere?

People also like to reply to "How are you?" with variations of "Eh. Crappy. If I was good then I wouldn't be here, am I right?" Really? Not that funny.

More coming later...

An idea for a web app

A searchable list of hole-in-the-wall restaurants. I wonder if holesinthewall.com is registered?

Life does not equal water

Every time a news outlet runs a story about life on another planet, it drags out the old "the search hinges on the discovery of water, which is a necessary ingredient for living things to exist" line. What's the deal with that? Okay, yes, Earth-based life does depend on water, but that doesn't necessarily mean that all life in the universe does. Maybe there's dihydrogen monosulfide out there powering some pseudobacteria in another galaxy.

This actually happened.

At work, we usually measure patients' temperatures with thermometers like this one:



Yesterday, I had to tell someone which end goes in the mouth.

Great moments in political grandstanding

First up on the list of Americans who should be embarassed about their decision-making skills: residents of California's 27th Congressional District.

From CNN, about the travel habits of executives of America's nearly failed car companies: "At Wednesday's hearing, Rep. Brad Sherman, D-California, pressed the private-jet issue, asking the three CEOs to 'raise their hand if they flew here commercial.'

'Let the record show, no hands went up,' Sherman said. 'Second, I'm going to ask you to raise your hand if you are planning to sell your jet in place now and fly back commercial. Let the record show, no hands went up.'"

Californians, I trust you'll remember to fix your mistake in November 2010.

On AIG outrage

What is WRONG with Americans? The entire country is a gigantic angry mob against AIG (there's a note below for the confused), which is wrong on half a dozen levels.

• Bonuses for the people involved were written into their employment contracts years before anything went wrong.
• AIG was required by law to pay out those bonuses in spite of the performance of the people involved.
• Many of the people involved have reportedly already returned the bonus money.
• The current CEO of the company is a federally appointed caretaker who earns $1 per year and was not affiliated with AIG at the time that the shady dealings were going on.
  
• When Congress authorized the disbursement of bailout funds, it specifically wrote a provision into the law that allowed this type of bonus to be paid out.

In spite of all that, the general public and members of Congress are out for the company's blood. Lots of employees have gotten death threats, including the new CEO. A United States Senator has publicly suggested that top AIG executives should commit suicide. But as usual, Congress is at fault. It seems like all they ever do is subpoena people and belittle them on national TV without really giving them a chance to respond.

So. That seem fair to you?

The sheer magnitude of willful ignorance in people is really unbelievable sometimes.

Historical context for people who read this years from now: The entire world is in a recession right now. It's kind of a big deal. The US government bailed out AIG, a big-time conglomerate, with over $150 billion on the grounds that the economic damage from its failure must be prevented at all costs (or, you know, $150bn of costs). AIG has just reported that executives in the division which made unbelievably bad decisions and caused the company's downfall will receive over $160 million in bonuses this year. Aaaaaand cue the angry mob.

Understanding Plomox and Robert Kelso, MD

Every time someone goes to a (major) pharmacy, the drug they get and the prescriber's ZIP code get sent to a big database managed by a large, faceless corporation that has little contact with the general public. The drug companies by summaries of information from that database and sort doctors into three categories based on how hard they want their sales reps to go after those doctors for the next week/month/whatever. The more scripts the doctors in a given ZIP code write for a drug rep's product, the more money the rep makes.

Plot holes

I don't usually notice plot holes much, but the ones in Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles are huge! What IS it with FOX and the destruction of shows with great potential?

Also, what's the deal with "plot holes so big you could drive a Mack truck through them"? Why is that supposed to mean big? Maybe 18-wheelers are small compared to your average plot hole.

What a beautiful morning

Normally I don't really like going outside soon after rain, but this morning was absolutely brilliant (the relatively balmy temperature and sunshine probably helped). And, for once, I actually enjoyed the petrichor! That NEVER happens.

Yeah, I did just write this so I could use the word petrichor. It took me the ENTIRE drive to work to remember it.

Memo to everyone

Please be advised that sulfa and sulfur are not the same thing. Your ignorance on this matter is not something to be proud of.

Thank you,
Mgmt.

Three dilemmas

Have you ever...

... had to choose when the easy thing was wrong and the hard thing was right, and you chose the hard one because it was the right thing to do?

... had to choose when the easy thing was right and the hard thing was wrong, and you chose the hard one just to prove it wasn't too hard for you?

... decided to do the right thing even though you did it for the wrong reasons?

Medical fact: creams, lotions, ointments and potions are not the same thing.

Placeholder

I do want to write here. Specifically, about things I've learned at work. And I'll do that, just as soon as I figure out what format I want to use.

New laptop

Soliciting comments on the following setup.

Model: LenovoThinkPad R61
Processor: Intel Core 2 Duo T7250 (2.0GHz 800MHz 2MBL2)
OS: SUSE Linux Enterprise Desktop version 10
Display: 14.1" WXGA TFT
Graphics: Integrated
RAM: 4 GB 2 DIMM
Disk: 160 GB, 5400 rpm
Wireless: a/b/g
Battery: 6-cell

It's no Dr. Horrible, but...

it's still as cool as this could ever possibly get.

LHC rap

(And if you missed the reference, Dr. Horrible)

General update

Finishing up week 7 of the new job. Trying to learn much about medicine.

Once again trying to get MAP up and running.

Trying to get the blog back up.

Medical fact of the day: Allergic rhinitis is nothing more than a fancy name for hay fever.

And now, time for another hilarious episode of "Actually from CNN"!

"Suu Kyi has now been detained for more than 12 of the last 18 years at her home in Burma, formerly known as Burma."

Actually, this one came from Time, but the link to Time came from CNN.

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1824901,00.html?xid=feed-cnn-topics&iref=werecommend

Drug commercials

I watched one hour of news tonight. First ABC's World News, then NBC's Nightly News. Here's the commercial breakdown:

ABC commercial break 1 Transitions glasses Aleve mytimetoquit.com The oil and natural gas industry Dulcolax ABC commercial break 2 Aveeno skin cream Levitra T. Boone Pickens' energy plan Rogaine World News [World News had a story about a new prostate cancer drug at this point.] ABC commercial break 3 Class action lawsuit settlement about dangerous insulation Purina cat chow Edward Jones investments Clairol hair products Centrum Cardio Hopkins (the ABC miniseries) Good Morning America

NBC commercial break 1 Pepcid AC Spiriva The oil and natural gas industry NBC commercial break 2 Breathe Right strips (a Brand Power spot) Smucker's Aveeno skin cream Lincoln's MK series of vehicles Glucerna Gas-X Today Show Nightly News DTVanswers.com NBC commercial break 3 Lyrica Visine advanced relief Levitra Rogaine MSNBC's 2008 election coverage

Quick numbers: There were 17 commercials in each half hour show. ABC was fairly balanced (5-5-7) and NBC was not (3-9-5). Four commercials that appeared during ABC's news also appeared during NBC's. Most interesting, eleven out of the ABC commercials had something to do with health (counting borderline cases like skin care products). Ten of the NBC commercials did.

I aten't dead yet

I aten't an old witch either, but that's neither here nor there.

Today's random musing is that I almost wish I didn't like my boss, because it would have made putting holes in her more fun. As it is, I'll settle for having an awesome boss who let me learn venipuncture on her veins.

Random medical fact (may or may not become a regular feature): Lisinopril is an ACE inhibitor.